The Indianapolis Colts need better play at quarterback, and he’s probably going to be available. You know, him.

Tom Brady.

Does it sound crazy? Of course it sounds crazy. The Colts signing – even trying to sign – Tom Brady, after all that DeflateGate nonsense from 2015, would be insanity. It makes as much sense as the Colts hiring, even trying to hire, New England Patriots offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels as head coach.

But then.

The Colts have a history of holding their nose and dealing with the Patriots, even acquiring Patriots, especially at quarterback. Check the Colts’ depth chart at QB: Starter Jacoby Brissett came from the Patriots in 2017 in a trade. Backup quarterback Brian Hoyer came from the Patriots this offseason in free agency. Colts GM Chris Ballard, the same guy who offered the coaching position to McDaniels in 2018 before that little worm did the franchise a favor and backed out, is the man who acquired Brissett and Hoyer.

Would he acquire Brady despite those 2015 shenanigans? Of course he would – Ballard wants to win, and Brady wouldn’t be a locker room leper – with three caveats, all of which are unknown: One, does Ballard consider Brady an upgrade over Brissett? And (two) would Tom Brady actually leave the Patriots in free agency, then (three) choose to play for the franchise he cheated in the 2015 AFC championship game?

I’m saying, in order: One: Maybe (let’s call that a 50% chance). Two: Possibly (40% chance the Patriots and Brady part ways). Three: Probably not (10% that he’d come here). Do that math – you multiply those three numbers, my three guesses, to get the probability … and the final product is 2%. By my math, Tom Brady to the Colts is a 50-to-1 longshot in 2020. 

Given that, this story here is not exactly an exercise in predicting the future. It’s more an exercise in thought: desire vs. principle, pride vs. competitiveness. It’s an exercise in the value of winning a Super Bowl.

How bad do you want that Super Bowl in 2020, Colts fans?

Bad enough to embrace … him?

Brady, Brissett, what’s the difference?

The numbers are shocking.

Quarterback A in 2019: 88.0 passer rating, 52.5 QBR, 60.8% completion rate, 3-to-1 ratio of touchdowns (24) to interceptions (8).

Quarterback B in 2019: 88.0 passer rating, 52.1 QBR, 60.9% completion rate, 3-to-1 ratio of touchdowns (18) to interceptions (6).

In 2019, Tom Brady (Quarterback A) and Jacoby Brissett (B) were nearly identical.

Now, their counting numbers were different. The Patriots threw a lot more – they didn’t have a running back as good as Marlon Mack, or a line as good as the Colts’ quintet – so Brady passed for 4,057 yards (in 16 games), compared to Brissett’s 2,942 yards in 15 games. That also accounts for the disparity in touchdowns and interceptions.

But the TD/INT ratio is identical, as is the passer rating and nearly the QBR and accuracy. Does this make you think more of Jacoby Brissett? Less of Tom Brady?

Or are you still saving all your emotional ammunition for the idiot who would even suggest a marriage between Good (our hometown Colts) and Evil (him)?

Well, look. I’m not the only idiot. Would that I were, but alas, some idiot at The Sporting News has floated the same idea. It’s a lot more fun to be alone on an island – as I was alone in 2018, I’ll remind you, when this city was loving the hire of Josh McDanielsand I was loathing it with every cell in my body – than to share the beach with someone else. But alas, the idea of Brady and the Colts hooking up for a one-year stand in 2020 actually makes a modicum of sense. And not just to me.

Let’s take a deeper look. Again, this is an exercise in thought – perhaps an exercise in fantasy more than reality – and I’m curious to know what you think. Hell, I’m curious to know what I think. I haven’t given it a lot of thought, yet. Here I go.

Come along.

Brady would love Frank Reich

First, the football. No, not the deflated ball – the sport. The game. The results.

Tom Brady’s numbers are sliding off a cliff. He’s 42, after all, and it was bound to happen someday. That day is arriving, with his passer rating dropping from 112.2 in 2016 to 102.8, then 97.7, then 88.0 this season. That’s not so good. Hell, Jacoby did that, and this town is ready to move on from Brissett.

Brady would be different, and not necessarily for the better. Brissett is beloved in the locker room, so it’s not like the Colts are desperate for a more respected quarterback. Brady’s legacy is far greater, obviously, but NFL players don’t follow the legacy – they follow the man. And the Colts follow Brissett.

More than that, Brady’s career trajectory is clearly going the wrong way. Those passer ratings from 2016 to 2019 don’t lie. At that rate he’d have a passer rating in 2020 of roughly 80.0, when he’s 43. And none of that is not good.

But this offense would be different. Better? I’m saying better, yes. The Colts have the superior offensive line and superior rushing attack, and the receivers are similar. Plus, there’s Frank Reich vs. Josh McDaniels. Name one thing McDaniels has done well, other than grab hold of Tom Brady and Bill Belichick’s coattails and slide into some bizarre status as an offensive “guru”?

Nothing. McDaniels has done nothing. He’s an arrogant little twerp, born on third base and convinced he hit a triple. Give me Reich’s offense any day of the week.

Brady hated the Patriots’ offense this season, remember. He complained time and again about it, whether he meant the personnel or the scheme or both. He wouldn’t hate it here, not playing for a longtime former NFL quarterback who actually respects his players, contrary to McDaniels (who was a high school quarterback) and Bill Belichick (who is a high school bully).

To come here, assuming he would (A) play for anyone but the Patriots and (B) play in Indianapolis, Brady would have to believe the Colts are a legit Super Bowl contender. That would have been a much better sale after the 2018 playoff season than the 7-9 dud of 2019, but maybe it’s possible. The Colts can sell Brady on their upgrade at kicker in 2020, and at receiver. And Brady, confident player that he is, would surely believe the 7-9 Colts of 2019 would have a much better quarterback in 2020 in Tom Brady over Jacoby Brissett.

For any of this to happen, of course, the Patriots would have to cut Brady loose. They’d have to let their beloved franchise quarterback finish his career elsewhere, but Bill Belichick is sentimental like a snake. He’d let Brady go in a single beat of his cold heart.

So if it all fell the right way, would we want Brady here?

Let’s continue.

But … DeflateGate

Now, the football.

Tom Brady cheated the Colts in the 2015 playoffs by playing with a deflated ball. They can dispute that all they want in New England, and they do, those morons. The Patriots had an equipment worker whose nickname was “The Deflator,” and they were found to be playing with deflated footballs in the game, and two plus two equals four. A painstaking investigation by the NFL resulted in the worst-case scenario for the league, which had to admit: Yes, the 2015 AFC title game was tarnished.

But the NFL admitted it anyway, because as I said: Two plus two equals four.

Brady cheated in 2015. Let’s not pretend otherwise. Besides, we need to consider that as truth for the sake of deciding whether we’d want him here.

Jim Irsay wants a Super Bowl, and I’m thinking he wants it worse than most owners. The Colts are not merely an investment or vanity toy for Irsay. They are – football is – his life, and he has never felt satisfied with one Super Bowl ring in his 20-year run with Peyton Manning (1998-2011) and Andrew Luck (2012-19).

Colts fans want a Super Bowl, too. Same as Irsay, they – you – have felt discontent with one Super Bowl win, and just two Super Bowl appearances since 1998. 

Which brings us to the money questions: Would you accept Tom Brady if you knew the Colts would reach the 2020 Super Bowl? Would you accept him merely on the gamble that he might?

I’d bet everything I have on this sentence: Given the choice right now between another 7-9 season with Jacoby Brissett or a Super Bowl with Tom Brady in 2020, Colts fans would overwhelmingly take the latter. You’d take Brady and the ring, and if I’m correct, I’m not going to blame you. Fans invest a fortune in financial and emotional resources in their NFL franchise. This is pro football, not a youth league, and people want a winner.

Hey listen, so does the media. Not because: Yay, go Colts! No, it’s more like this: Winning teams mean happy fans, and happy fans consume information – online, in print, radio, television, you name it. A great Colts team is great business for the media, at a time when business isn’t always so good.

Make no mistake, we need the Colts to win.  

But not like this. Not with him.

Find IndyStar columnist Gregg Doyel on Twitter at @GreggDoyelStar or at www.facebook.com/gregg.doyel.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.